‘Tis the Season for Poking!
HEALTH TIPS!

Though it pains me to actually use this blog to give legitimate wellness advice- and not just the usual nonsense running through my Iced Americano’d imagination- I have ONE HEALTH TIPS today!
As winter sort of sets in, a lot of people, myself included, suffer from “winter itch” or xerotic eczema. In addition to using moisturizers and avoiding long hot soaks in the tub and shower (which further dry out the skin), people with winter itch should try taking a daily capsule of tumeric, a common spice found in Middle Eastern cuisine, which has been found to have anti-inflammatory qualities. Tumeric is also reported to relieve nerve pain and aid with psoriasis.
There! Legitimate advice! Now I can resume babbling my way through the holidays.
Let’s Talk About Your Winter Cold
It’s coming. You know it is. But this winter you’ll be prepared. Im happy to report that we are now stocked with a fresh batch of DEFENDER V, a very special herbal formula made by my great teacher, Dr. Changqing Yang.
At the very hint of cold- a scratchy throat, a tight neck, a little fever- I take this and it’s done. You can actually feel the illness leaving your body.
Do not be caught unprepared this winter! If you feel a cold coming, come see me immediately!
HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL

August 14th marks the 2011 HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL, an old Buddhist and Taoist tradition that states that on the 7th lunar cycle every year, the gates of Heaven and Hell open and all the ghosts that ever lived are allowed to come back to Earth for One Month. Halfway through the month is a party for these spirits, a cherished time for people to pay honor and respect to their ancestors with a big party and lavish meals.
However, for the ghosts who come back and have no families, or arent treated the way they would like to be by said families, or aren’t pleased to go back to Hell….well they are here to eat your souls and steal your bodies. Yeah, did you not read the “HUNGRY” part of “HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL”? To protect yourself, avoid swimming, pools, and oceans as the hungry ghosts tend to like water and are often blamed for drowning children in Asia. Also, and this is important: NO WHISTLING, which is said to call the ghosts’ attention. Some of the real superstitious people just won’t even bother leaving their homes on the day of the Festival rather than risk a run-in with an angry apparition.
This influx of spirits into the world is said to create imbalance and misfortune for the entire month- which this year coincides with an already-misfortune-producing Mercury-in-Retrograde. Hence, no major decisions should be made this month. Hense, no travel plans or big events should happen this month. Hense, the whole month of August could be a complete and total shit show. See ya in September!
More Acupuncture PR
The “Final Destination 5″ Trailer is out… and apparently features an acupuncture death scene even MORE gruesome and terrifying that my own appearance on “The World According to Paris.”
R.I.P. My Dignity
Make No Mistake
I have tattoos not because Im a “pseudo-spiritualist,” but because I am, in fact, a “hipster cliche.”





